The Real Reason We Don't Say What We Think

So many times we think, "I really should know this. But I'm afraid that if I ask, people will think I don't know enough." So we don't ask. Then someone else asks exactly the question we had in mind. People respond well to it, and we sit there thinking, "Why didn't I ask that?" When […]
Frame 04: The Conversation We Keep Postponing

We talk with our team members about many of the things that can help them grow. How things are going.What they need from us.Where they need support.What the priorities are.What’s working and what’s getting in the way.What they want to learn, change, or do next. But talking about the things that aren’t working is different. […]
Frame 03: The Leadership Scorecard Has Changed

You were probably promoted because you consistently delivered results. You solved problems, answered questions, moved things forward, and became someone people could rely on. Those abilities matter. In many cases, they're exactly what earned you the opportunity to lead. The challenge is that many leaders continue measuring themselves by the same scorecard that made them […]
Thinking Like a Director: It’s Not Just a Bigger Role

Moving into a Director role is not simply about becoming a more senior manager. The scope gets bigger, of course. There are more people, more stakeholders, more complexity, and often more consequential decisions. But the more important shift is not in the amount of responsibility. It is in the level from which you need to […]
Frame 01: Every Role Teaches Us a Way of Thinking

Every role we spend enough time in teaches us a way of thinking. Not because someone tells us how to think. Because over time, the role itself shapes what we notice, what we prioritize, what feels important, and even what feels possible. That way of thinking often serves us well. Until it doesn't. When we […]
Frame 02: We Think We Experience the Situation

You leave a meeting convinced it didn't go well. A colleague leaves the same meeting feeling encouraged. Nothing about the meeting changed. The difference wasn't the conversation. It was how each of you experienced it. We often think we experience situations. Most of the time, we experience ourselves within them. That's why two people can […]
How to Interrupt a Thought Loop After a Difficult Conversation

Sometimes the conversation has ended, but it is still running in your head. You already know that replaying it is not helping. But knowing that does not make it stop. Not every thought loop needs the same response. Sometimes there is something in reality that needs to be checked. Sometimes the thinking process needs to […]
Leadership Is the Ability to Hold Both

Management and leadership require a wide range of capabilities. But if there is one capability that is particularly difficult to define and assess, it is the ability to hold seemingly contradictory demands at the same time. Beyond the familiar expectations of delivering results, making decisions, and leading teams, there is another dimension- one that is […]
When Pressure Changes Attention

Many communication problems are not actually communication problems. A client told me today that he recently noticed something surprising in conversations with senior executives. “Almost immediately after the conversation begins, my breathing changes. A slight tightness rises in my throat. And without even deciding to, part of me stops being fully in the conversation.” What […]
“Becoming the Person We Think We Should Be”

What I see often is how much energy is spent trying to become the kind of person we think we should be. The leader we were taught to admire.The partner we think we’re supposed to become.The professional image that once looked successful from the outside.The personality that feels more acceptable, impressive, confident, and controlled. So […]