An insight from working with leaders and executives

Over the years, in my work with senior leaders, I keep encountering the same moment. A quiet one, sometimes almost invisible, where something important simply goes unsaid.

Not because words, knowledge, or ideas are missing. Quite the opposite.
It happens because we’ve learned to filter ourselves.

At every level and in every role, many of us believe this filtering signals professionalism, control, and stability. Sometimes it does. But often, it’s a form of self-silencing.

Beneath these silences lives a deep, long-held belief system—rarely questioned:
I need to appear in control at all times.
Saying this is too risky.
Maybe I don’t understand enough.
They expect me to know, to get it, not to ask.
What will they think of me if I say this?

And so conversations don’t happen.
Over time, these very conversations become a source of burnout, a sense of stuckness, and distance—from the team, from the role, and sometimes from ourselves.

In coaching, we can pause and look at this more closely. Not to “push courage,” but to understand what truly prevents us from being present in conversation. To identify the internal barriers that run us—often for reasons that no longer fit our current reality.

That understanding opens the door to acting from a different place. Quieter. Freer. More precise.

Three questions worth sitting with:
In which situations do I feel myself shrinking, unable to fully express what matters?
With whom is it harder for me to bring my full self?
Which conversations am I postponing or avoiding, even though I know they could create meaningful change?

If these questions land in a familiar place, and it feels like the right moment to re-examine how you show up in communication, leadership, and relationships—I’m here.